It has been a while since I have updated, or tried to write anything intelligible. Our family has had a pretty chaotic 18 months or so.
In this time, I have let myself slip into a sort of spiritual depression. I wasn’t as faithful as I should have been. Not getting into the scriptures, appreciating the daily devotions that the kids and I do. It has been like someone hit that first domino was hit and then they all fell one after another. The veil over my eyes made it impossible for me to even recognize what was happening.
Two weekends ago I went on a college preview weekend with my daughter Emily. She is pursuing missions. She found an amazing university that trains missionaries while serving here in the states and abroad in the 10-40 window, all while earning 2 majors and a minor. We sat through several presentations that weekend… all of them speaking about the command of the bible, and that is to GO… make disciples of ALL nations.
One year ago, 7:10 was invited to speak at a round robin missions conference, presenting at 5 different churches over one week. It was more speaking than we had done in one week than over the course of the last 4 years. It was a great learning experience, and I appreciated the opportunity.
This week, the same round robin missions conference, only I get to be a guest rather than a speaker. 5 different missions groups speaking at our church, with 5 different stories of how they are actively living for Jesus, being the light in the dark world, and being faithful servants to what the Lord is calling them to do.
The message has been clear, for a long time, but really POUNDED into my brain over this last month.
You might be thinking, “wait, doesn’t she have a ministry in Hait? Isn’t she already following the command of the great commission?”
Ya, I thought that too.
Sunday morning missionary is serving in Central Asia. I was able to listen to him during the Sunday School hour, and let me tell you my heart was swelling and my brain was screaming. It really had me thinking about what and why I was doing what I was doing in Haiti. Tanja, you are comfortable. You do comfortable things when you visit. You stay safe, and ask your faithful employees to do the “hard” stuff. I let the veil fall, and the Spirit was screaming at me, It’s time to change your perspective, you are not supposed to be “comfortable”.
My heart is full of desire to do ministry better. I am not quite sure what that means for me yet, but I am positive that if I commit to active prayer that the Spirit will guide me. I know that the Lord has placed the people in my life at the exact moment of need, and that these people will pray for me. I am so incredibly blessed with the staff that we have in Haiti. They are actively committed… they are doing the hard work… they are suffering the attacks and warding off satan. They are confronted with the uncomfortable every single day. It is time I take some of that burden. I need to be uncomfortable. Can you help pray for me that the Lord will show me how to do this? Pray that I will actively commit to studying the Word regularly so that I may share it effectively with others?
Finally. I ask a big ask of you. What are you doing? The other message that has been significantly clear this last month is that we are ALL called to DO SOMETHING. You are saying “I can’t go overseas, I can’t even travel at all” OR you might be saying ” I just don’t have the desires to travel”. Well guess what, not all of us are called to GO. But… that doesn’t let you off the hook. If you don’t go then you have to send. You have to. There are many… many ways to send. Financially, prayerfully, you can mobilize and encourage, you can teach and train. You can sew and gather. You can share with others. WE are all apart of God’s master plan of Global Evangelism.
And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
I come to you right now and I ask you to wrap your loving arms around me, and everyone close to me. Guide me and others in the direction you are calling us without fear or reservation. Open our hearts to willing accept your will. Father please place peace in place of fear or anxiety so that we may clearly see your path. Lord, I ask that you show us all where our place in discipling is. I ask that you help us always show your light through the darkness that surrounds us, that others will ask “why” and want to hear about your saving grace.